Alfred Lightbody, owner of a small grocer’s shop in North London, suffers several minor run-ins with the law in quick succession, the last of which when he is motioned to overtake a police car and then promptly booked for speeding. Released on bail pending payment of a fine, Lightbody gives an interview to a newspaperman in which he says he has no intention of paying and would rather go to jail. Although his wife pays the fine without his consent (or knowledge), Lightbody becomes something of a local celebrity and his maltreatment by the authorities awakens the interest of Sir Joseph Steers, a multi-millionaire and the son of a baronet:
Not quite a politician, not quite a newspaper magnate, and not quite (as his enemies suggested) even a gentleman, he had three attributes which always appeal to Press and Public alike—a passion for publicity; views which, without being very constructive or even consistent, were always extremely violent and couched in very personal terms; and lastly, a very large amount of money.
Sir Joseph uses Lightbody’s experiences to launch the League of Free Britishers, a pressure group aiming to free the populace from needless petty infringements of their liberties or, to recast its intention in the grocer’s vernacular, “to sweep away all the tommy rot”. With the guidance of Perks, Sir Joseph’s personal secretary, and on the back of some inspired suggestions from an advertising man called Haskell, the League quickly builds a membership of six million and holds a triumphal rally in the Albert Hall.
Following a period of inactivity that had drawn the barbs of the press, Sir Joseph announces that the League will put up a candidate in a London by-election. The chosen one is not Sir Joseph himself but an uncharismatic sportsman called Rakes, whose idea of political rhetoric is exhorting the electorate to “play the game”. The uselessness of the League’s candidate is neatly summarized by Haskell:
“There are about fifteen million men in this island, Perky, and I reckon I could have got any one of them in here, with about six exceptions. Five of those are in mental homes, and Rakes is the sixth.”
The League is duly humiliated at the polls, largely because of “Rakes himself, who was a pretty shattering handicap”. Although it was clear to all of Sir Joseph’s staff that the by-election campaign was deliberately designed to fail so that Sir Joseph could quietly dissolve the League, Lightbody is disturbed to discover what has been going on. He confronts Sir Joseph in person, but the great man has put the League of Free Britishers far behind him and turned all his attention instead to ‘The Reeves Plan’, a new scheme for revolutionizing the existing structure of democratic government. Whilst still in a state of shock at having been so comprehensively deceived, Lightbody sounds off in public about liberty, assaults a policeman who tries to stop him and ends up in court again. He is fined and advised against getting into any further trouble. Chastened, Lightbody devotes his energies instead to running his shop. The book closes with him considering the opportunity of inaugurating a campaign for liberty in some far-flung corner of the Commonwealth, although there are also the enticing prospects of seeing his first grandchild born and taking delivery of a new bacon slicer. His wife, for one, is confident that Mr Lightbody will remain in England.